29-year-old sparks family feud after refusing to attend Thanksgiving this year over having to do the dishes: 'I’m just sick of being the only one expected to help'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 23, 2024 8:00 AM EST

For many of us, next week, we will be sitting around a large dinner table exchanging passive-aggressive remarks with family members before the tryptophan makes us all fall asleep before 9:00 pm. This is, of course, the most ideal scenario for Thanksgiving. We all know that in practice, something always goes wrong. These wrong outcomes can range from family members bickering over how to get all the dishes prepared and cooked in time to siblings letting old wounds out in the open. 

Anything can happen on Thanksgiving for most families, except this Redditor seems to know exactly how she will be spending the holiday. This year, she declined to join her extended family, as she was sick and tired of being the only person (along with her partner) to do the dishes afterward while everyone would go out to the hot tub and enjoy their evenings. This was a repeated pattern over the past several years, and there were plenty of other twenty-somethings in the family who could help her out on dish duty. However, rather than engage in confrontation, she has simply decided to opt-out. Power to her!

Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from folks in the comments section. For more stories like this, check out this post about an argument between two pregnant friends.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10431461632
    via Jed Owen
  • 02
    AITA for not going to Thanksgiving over the dishes?
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 03
    This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. I (29M) live in the United States but my stepmom is Canadian and her mom always comes down from BC for the weekend to celebrate with a feast for my mostly American family.
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 04
    To be honest, my "step- grandma"'s cooking is not good. And she is the most passive aggressive person I have ever met. Every year she makes such a big deal about how much work she put into her bland food and expects endless praise for her efforts. But I digress.
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 05
    Every year at Canadian Thanksgiving, my husband and I are asked to do the dishes. It's fine, we don't mind it. But the hard part is that we are guests,
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 06
    and we are the only people ever expected to help. At first it was like "Okay we are the youngest, so that's why." but in the past few years, my stepmom's nieces and nephews, all in their early 20s,
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 07
    were there and after dinner went in the hot tub. Meanwhile, if I'm playing with my nephew I don't get to see much, I hear from the kitchen my step-grandma say loudly "if only someone would help me with the dishes" and of
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 08
    course my dad comes over and says "Hey can you guys help her with the dishes". I'm just sick of being the only ones expected to help.
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 09
    This is our second year living in a different city and about a month ago they asked if I was coming. I told them I wasn't sure and later told them I wasn't. They offered
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 10
    to pay for our flights and I still said I couldn't make it. Made up an excuse. But really it's the dishes. Again, don't mind doing them, just sick of being the only people expected to help out while everyone else is socialize and hang in the hot tub.
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 11
    I have talked to my brothers (both older) and one agrees with me and the other thinks that's a stupid reason. So I am wondering, am I the a ole?
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 12
    Tanuk-E- Part... • Top 1% Comme... NTA. Shame on your siblings for not offering to help. It's fine to help out every once in a while but for you guys to be the cleanup squad each time? Not cool and y'all are being taken advantage. And shame on your step- grandma for making bland food.
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 13
    Top 1% Comme... Info: why not just say no to your dad? It sounds like from your post that he's the one targettting you guys.
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 14
    Why deprive yourself of seeing your nephew and the rest of your family instead of just saying "not this time, dad, we've been pulling the weight of doing the dishes while the rest of the family gets to relax. It's someone else's turn."
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 15
    Edit: judgement NTA. OP response seems like it just didn't cross their mind to be able to say no....
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 16
    StAlvis . INFO of course my dad comes over and says "Hey can you guys help her with the dishes". And you're unfamiliar with the words "no thank you," or...?
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 17
    I'm just sick of being the only ones expected to help. Just stop saying "yes?"
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 18
    houseonpost NTA: But nobody can take advantage of you without your permission. Talk to your dad before hand and explain why you don't feel like coming and come up with an alternative plan.
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 19
    Given you don't like the cooking why don't you offer to do some or all of the cooking? Nobody would dream of asking you to do the dishes.
    via rob-her-dinero
  • 20
    Waste_Worker... NTA. An invitation is not a subpoena. That said you might want to work on your assertiveness and learn to use the magic word no. You could attend and simply say "no I'm not doing those dishes it's someone else's turn".
    via rob-her-dinero

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family drama guests aita thanksgiving family reddit thread Reddit holidays happy thanksgiving
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